To: Miss Melissa Boots.
Holy shit yes that is me. It was some care from one of my favourite friends back home parceled into a large brown box and taped down to prevent me opening it until i got myself home. So I left Royal Mail, parcel-in-tact. It made me super hyped to think this package had travelled from melbourne to my doorstep in London and then detoured and sat at the delivery centre over the weekend hoping I would come for him soon because let's be honest delivery centres are cold and bleak and probably make a package want to take their life prematurely.
Tonight was icey. I had no scarf to cuddle my neck and no mittens to protect my paws. I'm a big girl though, i'm allowed to walk home by myself before 10pm so i toughed it out. After 10 minutes my hands were numb, six degrees London(!!), and then it started to rain. I don't melt in the rain and i really do love puddles but i also have a fringe, which is naturally very curly and prone to shoot back to a spirally mess if it gets wet. I somehow managed to hold my umbrella, carry my big box of love and navigate google maps on mIphone as i tried to take the back streets, the roads less travelled (if ever travelled) by my boots.
A short journey along the canal and a long accidental journey down a road which was not my road followed by a long journey up a road which was my road, I made it to my flat. I couldn't get to my room any quicker. I struggled for 5 minutes trying to open the package with numb fingers, stabbing the taped sides with scissors (bet you wish you took your own life now mr package). And finally i opened it. And i was psyched on its contents.
I miss Australian candy like you would not believe, I imagine my dentist (hey, what's up homie?) woke up in a cold sweat as my eyes scoured the assortment of my favourite confectionary. cherry ripes and caramelo koalas, you can stay. My sweety pie friend also packed a deliciously delightful magazine where the first line my eyes catch is 'hooray for the man hug' and i was hooraying because i love when my head gets squashed in a manly chest and i also like when boys hug because they are besties and either way im sure i rejoice for whatever this article could be celebrating but here is my frusquestion...
my package had no note. ok, that's just my frustration. my frusquestion is
Why don't people send notes to accompany packages anymore?
Are they running low on note paper? ill settle for a post it but no less. yes a post it will suffice.
Why has email taken the place of that handwritten note. I got two packages this fortnight and neither of them had notes. I hope my friend's don't think i'm not grateful because i LOVE my packages it makes my belly warm that my friends still think of me enough to put my most favourite things into a suicidal box and send it my way.
i just don't want the accompanying note to become extinct.
Petition to bring back the note.
signed. mboots. x
ps. this friend is off the hook because she sends me secret mail about secret males nearly every day. stuff that makes my belly warm and then hurt from laughing and then get warm again with her tender tales of tail. you wish you had a friend this good. sorry i called dibs ages ago.